Towards or Away?

Rashes spreading across my body.....

Praying that it's not serious....

The last time I had a full body rash attack was when I had a viral infection....Eak was terrified at the sight of my back....

But this time I don't really feel pessimistic about it? Right now it's more of I'm ready to accept that if I were to experience a lupus flare I would not feel depressed about it?

Perhaps it's a good thing if I were to be hit by a flare...

Reason 1:

I spent most of Semester 2 at the hostel, given that I had a flare and I'm still not feeling well....This gave me the opportunity to thoroughly devise a study plan, not only accounting for my study needs, but also my health too... (Including sleeping hours!)

Reason 2:

Being able to stay at the hostel full time allows me to do whatever I want without the fear for deadlines...In other words....Freedom to do OTOT...Hence, stress level goes down....(It actually happened last year for Promos...)

Reason 3:

I would be more aware of my health for the only things that are around me inside my room are my notes, my files and myself....More frequent body checks could be made to observe any changes i.e. spread of rashes and check for other symptoms such as fever, sore throat, and joint pains...

Sounds like a good plan....But there are counter arguments to this agenda:

Rebuttal 1:

Having OTOT may have a higher tendency to slack, using my own health as the major excuse to "I need more rest as my body cannot tolerate with high stress level." Under-utilising myself would means I cannot reap Economies of Scale...

Rebuttal 2:

Following the deadlines set by the school is an easier way to know whether I'm on the right track or not...For the tutors are more experienced, thus they would have the expertise (don't ask me whether they do or not!) in crafting a revision timetable for students....In other words, as long as I'm able to keep up with the work given, I'm OK!

3 Vs 2...

Although reasons for staying in the hostel is more than continue going to school...It is really low level to make decisions base on which side has more benefits....

Well...you don't list down the advantages and disadvantages of chicken rice before deciding whether you want to buy that for lunch right?

Hmm....now comes the concept of running....

I miss running....That's what I usually do whenever I feel like it...

Feeling the wind whistling at my ears as I take every stride....

Heart starts beating with a high tempo rhythm....

But...How am I running all this while?

I believe that there are only two ways of running.....For those who thought that there's the Usain Bolt running style, Powell or Gay running techniques, or free-running.....try this for another point of view...

1. Running towards

2. Running away

Both still have the main idea of running....But how do you run?

Running towards your intended destination? Guided by nothing else but your own beliefs, desires?

Or is it running away from your own problems and conflicts; running without a defined direction, only to find oneself running because there's someone whipping you from behind towards their own intended destination...

To think deeply about this matter...I've realised...

I've been running away from conflicts and problems that I could not handle...this year..once I fell ill...I did nothing to ensure that I could juggle both my health and studies....eg....I just blame it on my health for not doing well in tests....and I blame on my studies for ignoring my own health...

Problems may leave you, but when unsolved, it will continue to haunt...

It's time for a different running method....

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Randomity time!!

I like what I told Chaww about just now over dinner....

Your looks could put a dent in your confidence, but that does not mean that it should be the source of your confidence....

Hehe....