Sometimes it's easy to forget that I'm carrying a disease that requires long term attention...Sometimes it's easier for other people to forget that you are carrying a long-term disease...Yeah....it happened to me too...unconditionally....
Friends could call and sms you late at night to ask you about homework....the time when you most needed the sleep and rest for tomorrow's hectic pace...Teachers could just shove you off the school lift although you are already pale and legs protesting to move another step further...People around you could just stare and whisper behind your back on your "crazy guy using umbrella on a cloudy day" antics...Even as I'm blogging at this moment...there are sure to be someone pestering me for help....eh...how to do this....eh...why don't you reply my messages??...I'm not free tomorrow...could you help do me a favour?
Guys...I'm no longer the same junjun you guys last saw me before the mid-year holidays...My limbs shook at every exertion...Stairs have become a nightmare...Crowded areas aren't my domain anymore...Loneliness and depression seems to loom around me...
How many people can feel the fatigue I'm feeling trying to catch up classmates walking to lectures and tutorials....resulting in a another hard pounding on your chest? How many friends are able to actually aware that every sentence they said about food...absentees..sports pierce through my heart like a stiletto? How many people actually knew that I needed the company...yet I was not given any?
I must have been a damn good liar...One smile from me and everyone thought that I'm completely healed...Off from SLE!! I'd be damn happy to hear that from my doctors...But who can see through this deceiving smile and feel the agony I'm feeling?
If it weren't for The Secret..I'd probably have signed my own termination to go back to Malaysia...Law of Attraction works!!
It changed me...But it also changed my perspective towards my world...my surroundings...my friends...friends who see me from different perspectives...A friend who need care...A friend who lends a hand although he is sick...in contrast....A walking time bomb... A person to avoid...
Understanding myself is hard...But what I do understand is...If I wanted something...I ask for it...The universe shall answer me...And I shall align myself to my desires...
Those who dared have the nerves to call themselves as friends...prove it...
However...I can never thank enough those who are always there for me...no matter what...your prayers are valuble to me...And I shall treasure it always...
PS: It's time for hunting!!
Friends could call and sms you late at night to ask you about homework....the time when you most needed the sleep and rest for tomorrow's hectic pace...Teachers could just shove you off the school lift although you are already pale and legs protesting to move another step further...People around you could just stare and whisper behind your back on your "crazy guy using umbrella on a cloudy day" antics...Even as I'm blogging at this moment...there are sure to be someone pestering me for help....eh...how to do this....eh...why don't you reply my messages??...I'm not free tomorrow...could you help do me a favour?
Guys...I'm no longer the same junjun you guys last saw me before the mid-year holidays...My limbs shook at every exertion...Stairs have become a nightmare...Crowded areas aren't my domain anymore...Loneliness and depression seems to loom around me...
How many people can feel the fatigue I'm feeling trying to catch up classmates walking to lectures and tutorials....resulting in a another hard pounding on your chest? How many friends are able to actually aware that every sentence they said about food...absentees..sports pierce through my heart like a stiletto? How many people actually knew that I needed the company...yet I was not given any?
I must have been a damn good liar...One smile from me and everyone thought that I'm completely healed...Off from SLE!! I'd be damn happy to hear that from my doctors...But who can see through this deceiving smile and feel the agony I'm feeling?
If it weren't for The Secret..I'd probably have signed my own termination to go back to Malaysia...Law of Attraction works!!
It changed me...But it also changed my perspective towards my world...my surroundings...my friends...friends who see me from different perspectives...A friend who need care...A friend who lends a hand although he is sick...in contrast....A walking time bomb... A person to avoid...
Understanding myself is hard...But what I do understand is...If I wanted something...I ask for it...The universe shall answer me...And I shall align myself to my desires...
Those who dared have the nerves to call themselves as friends...prove it...
However...I can never thank enough those who are always there for me...no matter what...your prayers are valuble to me...And I shall treasure it always...
PS: It's time for hunting!!
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