Went jogging this afternoon...it's been a while since I've last jogged...Although I'm not encouraged to do so...but I guess I'm still not willing to succumb to my cut-down, lowered physical limitations?

Inevitably, life sure is not as fun as it used to be since I'm diagnosed with lupus...couldn't do many things with my classmates too, since there were class outings that involves physical activities.....so I think it would be better not to join them since I'm afraid that I would be a killjoy because I can't enjoy the fun...

PE lessons are a bore too....but thankfully PE lessons are officially over now, but actually, mine ended a long time ago given that I don't need to change into my PE attire...Yeap...

Was actually wondering, how do some people actually pick the pieces of themselves after being shattered by the fact they have a life-long disease...Lance Armstrong fought cancer...His should be worse than mine...Given that I only need to undergo 6 months of chemotherapy...yeah....body was super weak last year...especially during Promos time...

I'm also wondering how did I actually managed to pull off a result like what I got for Promos...And thinking whether is it possible to re-simulate the atmosphere I was in last year....Apparently this is virtually impossible...given that I'm residing at Parry Hall....where the construction yard is what decorates my window scenery..Even the noise of the machinery and workers shouting at each other is a norm in this place right now....

*Sigh* Realised that I actually accept my own limitations during Promos and sort of created a study plan such that I could have enough rest and study enough...Expectations towards myself was not that high since I did not attend school for more than half a term...

Right now...It seems hard to emulate that because there's this thing called 'expectations' running through my head now...Everyone is expecting me to pull another rabbit out of the hat....But this time..it's not just any white rabbit...It's a rabbit that can walk and talk and pour coffee for you....

Wouldn't it be better if we all could work at our own pace and gunning towards our own target....or to put it bluntly..OTOT? Wouldn't that allow people to grow at their own pace...And will eventually succeed? Is it really true that pace is the numero uno factor today? Must we be quick enough to keep up with the pace of today?

Keeping up with the pace does not sound motivating in this context...It literally means that we are not fast enough but we are trying....or rather struggling to follow the pace that is being set...could anyone let us know the pace is set by who by any chance?

Confucius said... "It is alright to be slow than to stop"

But in reality, choosing to be slow and you might be drifting away from the mainstream....My oh my...what a strong current...

This year is quite a mind-boggling year for me...Can't stop thinking about what lies ahead of me and whether am I walking on the right path....Is there really a path laid down before me to walk upon? Is this the way us homo sapiens find our life's purpose?

I choose to think the other way...There's is no path paved for us...We have to hack down the grass and create our own path....The difficulty in creating a path, however, would vary across people.....Some find it easy to hack through cotton...Others find it impossible to emulate Moses' paving a way through the Red Sea....

Ahh indeed...how dramatic life is...Paving pathways to search for our own destiny...but why there's a tendency to be fatalistic?

And so he begins to run in only one direction...

Forward...

Yet, he could not see what is in front of him...

The bright light is simply too strong for his eyes...

Blind...

He stumbles upon the obstacles that lay in front of him...

Cuts, bruises, abrasions...

Exhausted...

He still chooses not to stop...

And yet as the heart begins to scream...

It stopped...

As the boy collapses to the ground...

Only to realise that the bright light he saw...

Is gone...