First Rose

"I hate you"

It was really shocking at the sight of that 3 words last Saturday. It came from a person whom we both had so much fun the other day. Not knowing why, yet I continued playing DotA with my friends, assuming that her temper would alleviate after some time. I already bought her the reload coupon she needed for her phone.

Hours later, I messaged her along with her reload coupon number. No reply. I asked her is there anything wrong and apologized for not replying her just now, and dare not tell her I've been playing when she sent that message. Still no reply. Something was wrong. She was mad at me, ignoring me. BIG TIME.

The whole afternoon, I kept asking her what's the matter, and began feeling worried. Hours past till evening, then I knew, I've made a terrible mistake. The worst part, I don't know where I've gone wrong. But I can't just let her ignore me, I can't withstand this terrible feeling.

6.30 pm, Saturday, 29th September 2007, I started sending apology messages to her.

"I've made a terrible mistake. I'm really sorry, I need you, I love you."

From 6.30 to 12 midnight, I've sent a total of 99 identical messages to her, in hopes that she will be moved by that motion of mine. However, only 23 messages got through of the then busy line and the rest of the messages went to oblivion. I tried calling her, no tone. She must have offed her phone already. She seldom does this, I recalled. At that moment, exactly midnight, I gave up, telling her that I would respect her decision if she really wanted to hate me that bad. It was a dark and cold night for me to even shut an eye.

Yet, as if reincarnated, I've felt hope gushing within me suddenly on my bed. The first thing I did, I sms-ed her telling that I would not give up getting her to stop ignoring me. Then, for the next 24 hours, I made the gamble of my life. Heck, I've never done these things in my life, maybe not anymore for another person.

I asked her out to go for a jog at the temple about walking distance from my home, a bit far from hers. Knowing that she would not reply, I called her. Expectantly, she cut my line. Never got cut before, I left her a message telling her I'll wait for her at the temple until she came.

4.00pm, Sunday, 31 September 2007, I've made a promise to myself I would shoot 101 baskets at the basketball court until she comes. That's a big number to achieve, but sadly to say, only 89 hoops are made before I have to go back home at 8.00pm, parents are rather "ticked" about me lingering out too long.

I'd tried redeeming myself by sending her songs, well, lyrics actually the rest of the night. Results? She did sent me a message, telling me that she won't follow tomorrow's school bus to school. Still, nothing about her anger towards me was explained. Another dark void is cast upon me that night.

Big numbers won't work, 99 and 101 are not the numbers she needed.

9.15 am, Monday, 1st October 2007, I rushed out from school and waited for my friend to come pick me up. Rush hour day. I looked at my phone for time, 9.50 am. I need to go back to school before 11.00am or all is lost. Minutes later, My friend and I were going off to the florist for my first ever purchase of a bouquet of roses.

Stepping into the florist shop, I saw the China roses placed inside a fridge, bulbs blossoming beautifully. I bought 5 red, China roses. They were marvellous, not like the ones my school used to sell during Valentines' Day.

10.50am, I reached the school gates, waiting for her to come out from her Biology class. Clock is ticking, so is my fear. Would she accept it? What if she won't? What if she throw the roses and gave me a hard slap? My first time presenting roses to a girl, was indeed a unnerving experience.

11.25am, I waited in the car, hoping that my last drop of courage would not seep through my cupped hands.

11.27am, I checked the roses again, hoping they would not melt away. Hang on, they are roses, not ice cream!

11.29am, Yes! She came out! Heart threatening to pound out my thorax, I stepped out the car, walked towards her.

"Hey there... I don't know why were you ignoring me, or why you hated me. But, I wished that you won't hate me or ignore me, it hurts. Please accept the flowers."

Amazed, she accepted her flowers! With her dad watching the whole time! Oh dear! Hurriedly, I ran back into the car and went back home. Last thing I heard was a "Wa!" from her dad.

Judgement time. I waited in my room. Bling! My phone rang. Yes! Woohoo! She thanked me! Then we started chatting again, but with the addition of clearing out some lines and bad blood between us. We're friends again, not merely friends, but the closest ones one could ever get.

1st October 2007, was not to be missed ever again. A start of something new.

Well, now both of us are the closest of friends again, after what we've been through for 48 hours. I guessed if you really wanna keep a relationship, you'd take any measures to protect that relationship, even aching arms and legs in attempt of 101 shots. But, even simple ideas would move the mountains of distrust and hatred.

Well, I know she'll be reading this, because she is waiting for me to type the ordeal inside here. Friends! Never let anyone around you cry as I once did before. I know I won't let her drop a tear, starting from this full stop.

And to the first girl I gave her flowers, I know now it's a bit of a rush, but, I'm taking our friendship to another test. In front of the whole world, I vow that after my years in Singapore and degree, I'll come back to you, but this time, as a new person, the person you knew me through simple sms and not the cold-like student.

That is my unbreakable vow to you....