Promo's Approaching...leave me alone...

Promo's coming...
But I'm getting weaker day by day...
Wondering whether will I be in the exam hall for the next 3 weeks...

While everyone is worried about..
Not enough time to study...
Unable to clear promos..
Retain...
Go back to home countries..

I'm worried about getting myself to school...
Will I walk in without a tinge in my legs?
Or tremble as I crawl in?
Or leave an empty seat?

Law of attraction states...
That thoughts reinforces the events..
Causing the events to actually happen...

I don't want all this to happen..
But I can't stop thinking about it...
How do I stop?

Once fearless of coughs and flu..
Now...
Even when there's a slight giddiness..
I have to stop hitting the books..
And crash into my bed..

Chill engulfs me...
Even in midday...
Jacket's not enough to provide warmth..

Perhaps I should look for warmth elsewhere...
But from where??

What I want...
And what people give...
Are like Asia and America..
They never meet coast to coast..

I wanna do my own revision to my own pleasure..
Not being boggled down by a flu bug..
I wanna run out under the hot sun...
Not running away from it at every glimpse...
I wanna walk in the crowd..
With the crowd..
Not someone peering out from the window...

I wanna be me!

I wanna tackle down Promos my own way!

Heck with all the medicines...

I'm sick with it..

I'm sick of people telling me to get some more rest..

I'm sick of hearing "You're not well, you should stop,"

I'm sick of lying on the bed but could not drift to Dreamland..

I'm sick of my parents having to inject money for my medical fees...

I'm sick of the insurance company having yet to pay back my parents' money...

I'm sick of watching friends happily fret away while I'm at the hospital...

I'm sick of all those needles piercing through my skin...

I'm sick of doctors telling me I'm ok but I felt worse...

I'm sick of being sick...

I want my own life back...

Can't I have a bit of it back?
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My mom told me...
When I study...
Even if a bomb exploded..
I would still continue mugging...
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She even joked...
I might die because of studying...
I could get myself killed...
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How ironic...
I'm actually facing that now...
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Finally realised that...
And I'm gonna continue with this..
I'm gonna stay in Singapore...
I'm gonna score my Promos..
If it is the last thing I'll ever do...
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This is for me...
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Leave me in my own vicinity...